“Sometimes I miss the beginning so much. The problem is that it will only remain in the beginning.”
Love is supposed to be the greatest thing in life. Unfortunately, you may lose it.
It all started at a time when love was still perceived to be ok. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. All things went well, and I even thought that we were meant to be together. I love him, and we love each other.
I can easily remember how I invited him to our school dance. We got each other as dates and dance partners. It was the best night of our lives.
But what if someone or something came when you least expect it? Will things change?
It happened during summer when I left one of my classes in school. I was about to work on a project for our next class, due that same day. I was hurrying to the nearest vacant table when I accidentally bumped into a stranger.
Bump. All my stuff fell from my hand.
Hmm. It seemed like the guy may not want to help. Well he bumped at me, but I thought he’s only going to walk away.
But he didn’t.
While I pick up some of my stuff that fell on the ground, he also picked up some of them. Surprisingly he did something more.
“Are you ok,” he asked me.
“I’m ok; you don’t need to do anything. I’m fine.”
“It seems that you have a problem. I can help.. if you won’t mind.”
“No, I’m fine.”
He insisted. He still helped me with my project, and it turned out we did not have any problem. He seemed to be really nice. I won’t mind to have another day with him.
I was glad to have met him. We quickly became friends. Since I am a graduating college student who has been struggling with the schedule, I thought that little help was all I need.
However there is some mystery surrounding that guy. At first glance I thought I should not trust him. I know there’s something about him which I could not explain. But I only decided to give the benefit of the doubt, and I just went for it.
I honestly would choose not to spend time with him, but each time he initiates, I just say yes. A little of it won’t hurt. From there, a special bond formed between the two of us. We got to hang out after class. We shared so many experiences that made me forget about my problems in life.
I thought it would be ok.
But that changed one night when I arrived home from another day in school.
I checked my phone only to receive several missed calls from my boyfriend.
I called him.
“Hello, my loves. Sorry I’ll only be able to call you now. I’ll be there.”
When we met, he called my attention.
“Honey, I’ve been waiting for you. Where were you?”
“I was in school.”
“I saw you were with someone else. Don’t tell me –”
“Relax, he’s just my friend.”
“Really? Isn’t he someone else? Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying!”
I was about to walk out when he uttered another word.
“Watch where you’re going, ’cause I know what you’re doing. I loved you, but now I don’t know what to do.”
“But I still love you!”
“But that’s not what I see. You better shape up! ‘Cause I was born yesterday.”
I realize that it was too much. I have already left someone behind – even if I did not intend to.
Everything did not go well between the two of us.
I keep on forgetting someone who used to mean a lot to me. We are not in good terms with each other as well.
It is for this reason that I started to fight back.
The next day I was walking along the corridors, for the first time since yesterday. I still can’t stop thinking about what happened. Like, I really want to —
I entered the classroom in a way I never did. I was mad, and confused. There I see my friend (and I’m not even sure if he’s my friend now) sitting at the front table. I pull him out and we talk outside.
I did not know what to do with him. He did not do anything, but I’m so so sick of actually being with him.
Then I remember some of our most undesirable experiences. I searched for every wrong thing that I could throw at him.
I told him,
“You may be forgetting something. I noticed, you’re not doing well in school because of what you did to me, and you’re also forgetting that I am in a relationship with someone else. Can’t you please get your act together and just stay away from me?”
It was not an easy conversation. I never wanted an argument, but I’m more than ready to give him a fight. Since then we were like that all the time.
It turns out, I was doing something I’ll only regret.
I never wanted this, so I just don’t understand why I dragged myself here.
I did not choose this destiny.
This destiny chose me.
I decided to run away.
But to run with who I love is not easy. He is not going to forgive me for what I did. It was too late. I was hopeless.
Until someone touched my shoulder.
Tears fell right from my eyes as I felt it. It was something I never expected. Someone. It came from the one I love.
I knew what I must expect when I meet someone new.
I ask myself every time there’s something new,
Does this mean great things will never come only because someone new came? Does that mean it will not come because your life changed?
This is the misconception I’ve been longing to break, and I’m dedicating myself to changing it.
However it’s not going to happen overnight. It takes time.
And no matter how hard you’ll try, you’ll still never know what to expect. It’s unpredictable.
For now you’ll just have to hold on. Have faith. The good thing is that there is always someone who will be here for you.